


Membership Fees

by AdorkableAuthor



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Sad Logan, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 18:52:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9839192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdorkableAuthor/pseuds/AdorkableAuthor
Summary: At the end of season one, Veronica leaves the Kane residence with the tapes and a hidden Aaron in the car. Slight change to the end of season one and the beginning of season two.  Flash forward to senior year: Veronica is single and Logan misses her.This is your warning. Yup, it's one of those stories. Grab tissues.





	

Logan looked over to Veronica. He missed her. He missed the way she smelled and the way she laughed. She missed the sweet little noises she made when he nuzzled his nose into that spot on her neck. He missed her smirk and the knowing look in her eyes. He missed her cute little pigtails. He missed her snark and the way that she always made his heart skip a beat when she stood up to him. 

It had been a long summer without her. She had been blinking in and out of his life like a lighthouse and it was making him seasick. He felt bad about his dad attacking her. He had even used his dad's money to cover her medical bills. But she stopped taking his calls. She wouldn't respond to emails or text messages. 

He got the message loud and clear. His dad went after her. She didn't want anything to do with him. He was guilty by association. He watched her sit with her friends on the first day of their senior year and his heart ached. He missed her. He missed the idea of 'them'. 

He didn't know exactly what happened between his father and Veronica and her father. He knew that she had been attacked and had spent time in the hospital. He tried to see her, but her father didn't think that was best. 

It had been the whole summer and he was seeing this new version of her. She wasn't the naive and innocent Veronica of freshman year. She wasn't the broken and lonely version of sophomore year either. She still retained a lot of her badass and toughened version of junior year. But, no, this senior version was different. She was jumpy. She didn't want to be close to people. He wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't spent so much time with her last year. She was scared of something. She was cautious and guarded, more so than last year. She still laughed with her friends, but it was like she put on a filter. He doubted they could tell the difference. No one knew Veronica Mars better than he did.

He watched her finish her lunch, which was more of her throwing a half-eaten sandwich into her brown bag and offering her pudding cup to Wallace. Veronica not having an appetite was a giant red flag. But, her friends didn't seem to notice. He watched her stand and grab her books and carefully step over the bench at the table. She wasn't moving right. She was slow and precise in her movements. 

That was when he saw his first clue. She winced as her knee was up high and her body twisted. She didn't wince long, but the expression looked foreign on her face.

Logan perked, lowing his sleeved arm and wet fingertips, of which he had been biting the nails. He watched her friends part ways with her and she walked the opposite direction. She was walking towards him. He stood and bounced down the two stairs to meet up with her. He kept his hands behind his back and offered a smile. “Fine day for a picnic.”

Veronica stopped and looked up at him, a brow raise. He looked down and smiled sweetly to her. She was so beautiful and his breath caught at this close vision of her. “You are a little late. I've already ate.”

Logan smirked. “You are a poet, and didn't now it?”

Veronica rolled her eyes and Logan felt his stomach do a flip. She moved past him and tossed her bag into the trash.

“Can we talk?” Logan asked suddenly. He felt his fingers ducking into his sleeves.

He saw her shoulders slouch and her eyes lower. “Logan, I-”

“I get it, but I think we owe ourselves some closure, right?” Logan tried to peek around to see her gaze, smiling a bit. “You pick when and where.” 

“Ten years too soon?” She turned and looked up at him, her face back under her mask of Teflon. Nothing stuck to Veronica Mars.

“I was hoping more for this afternoon?” Logan tried to raise a brow, but he felt his lower face deflating and sinking.

“I really don't think we should talk, Logan. I don't have anything I need to say to you and I don't want to hear anything you have to say to me.” She sighed, her voice calm. “Can we just part ways and be civil?”

Logan took a step back and gaped down at her. He felt his blood pressuring rising, or maybe that was his anger and he was about to snap when he felt her hand on his arm.

“I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but I need to think about myself first right now. I'm late for a meeting.” She turned and walked towards the office.

He blinked at where she had stood a second ago and felt the hot air whistling out of him like he were a kettle being removed from the stove. He watched her go not towards Van Clemmons' office, but rather Miss Rebecca James' office. She was going to counseling. Sure, his dad tried to kill her. It seemed logical that she should and would be seeing someone to talk about how to deal with that. But, he knew she hated Miss James. Not only for dating her father, briefly, but for trying to psychoanalyze her for some paper she was trying to publish. She didn't trust Becky. Then again, Veronica didn't trust most people.

He didn't see her again that day. He didn't see her the next, noticing a pint-sized gap in between Mac and Wallace at their lunch table. Her car was in the parking lot, so he knew she was around, somewhere. 

The third day of school, he witnessed her coming into the hall bright and early. Logan was there early to have a meeting with a leader of a biker gang without anyone knowing, but that particular gentleman hadn't shown. Now, he was blessed with Veronica Mars without anyone to hide behind or run to. He stepped out in the hall and grinned. “Good morning.”

Veronica stumbled a bit in her shock, but recovered. Logan wouldn't have thought anything of it, but her hand went to her hip and pushed a hand against it. He couldn't tell if she was protecting it or nursing something, but it was odd. She sighed, realizing it was just him. “Logan.” She turned to walk around him.

“You ok?” He looked down at her, a brow raised. He was concerned.

She nodded. “You just startled me.” She waved her hand like it was nothing to startle her. “Excuse me.”

“Another meeting with Becky?” Logan hated the sneer in his voice. He wished he could ask it again.

She stopped and blinked up at him. He had pierced her. “My life is no concern of yours, Logan. Just, leave me alone.”

Logan sighed and walked backwards in front of her, cutting off her attempts to walk around him. “Wait, I'm sorry. I am worried. Are you alright?” 

Veronica stopped and blinked up at him. She looked like she was going to cry and that alone made Logan step forward. She stepped back, holding up a shaking hand to keep him away. “I'm fine.” She sighed and slipped the mask back on. Somehow, the tears sank back into her eye sockets. 

“Veronica, I miss you.” Logan softly said, keeping back. He wasn't going to push himself on her. But he wanted to make sure she listened to him. “I don't want to wait ten years to tell you that I love you and I want to talk to you.”

She shook her head, obviously fighting an inner argument and pushed past him. She ran down the hall. 

Logan watched, noticing the limp after a bit. She didn't have that limp last year.

 

“Logan, while I'm shocked at your concern, I cannot tell you anything that Veronica and I talk about. I am obligated to keep her thoughts and experiences between her and me unless I believe she will be harming herself and/or others. She has not shown any signs of that. Also, I wouldn't tell another student if she were. I would tell her father, or the sheriff.” Rebecca James said so with a long sigh from behind her desk. She pushed some hair that had fallen over her shoulder back over and looked at Logan with compassionate eyes. “I would do the same for you.” 

Logan nodded, expecting that to be the answer. He was ever-hopeful though. “I am a concerned friend though, Becky. I want to help her.”

“Logan, you know not to call me that.” She glared over at him. Logan merely offered a smug grin. “Sometimes being a friend to someone is doing what they want you to do, even if you don't want to do it.”

“So, if she wanted me to put my hand down the garbage disposal, I should do it? Because she needs me to?” Logan bit back. 

“No, but it means if she wants space, you should give it to her. You know that Veronica has gone through some hard times. Let's help her get through them instead of pestering her more.” Miss James smiled softly. “If you can leave her alone for a while, you might be surprised when she comes to you.”

Logan hadn't thought about that. He chuckled. “Veronica has done many things, Miss James. She has never come to me, unless of course I was her number one suspect in her latest case.”

“Give her time, Logan. Trust me on this.” Miss James gave a knowing look at Logan. Her look softened. “Would you like to talk about the death of your father?”

Logan stood. “This has been entertaining as always, but I have a frog to dissect.” 

“That's not until November, Logan. And you aren't even in Biology this year.”

Logan was already walking out the door though. He stopped just outside the door to the office and looked around the hall. He saw Wallace and Veronica talking at her locker. It looked like they were hiding something. They were probably talking about a case. He looked the other way and saw Duncan flirting with Meg, who was flirting back. He got what Becky said about giving Veronica her space. He should do that. She was busy and he had already made her runaway and cry once today. Duncan with Meg didn't seem that appealing either. She was like the old Veronica, sweet, innocent, pure, good. 

Logan smirked. Those still described Veronica, but only if you stretch them. She was sweet when she wanted to be. She was pure and good, when she was fighting the injustice in the world. Her innocence had been torn from her, but she forgave him for his part. She hung on to hope and faith in people. She might not be virginal, but she was still innocent. 

He sighed and walked down the center hallway, avoiding both couples. He made it to his car and climbed inside. He thought about his talk with Miss James. She had confirmed Veronica was getting counseling from her. Sure, almost dying at the hands of a brutal maniac was scary. Logan had years of experience with it. But, she was stronger than that. She had taken on drug dealers and the Irish mob. One bad actor with a mean streak would be nothing to her. 

He thought about what he had said in her office and smirked. “She only comes to be when I'm her number one suspect.” He chuckled. He just had to be sure to get back on her radar.

He started small. He slipped little tiny notes in her locker with words of a secret admirer. When that didn't seem to phase her, he upgraded to flowers to her homeroom class. After he witnessed seventy-five dollars worth of flowers being thrown away, he was a little taken back. He thought every girl liked flowers. He decided to try the flowers one more time. He filled her whole car up with flowers. All kinds popped up over her old, dirty interior. He watched as she sighed looking at her car. People laughed and some girls gushed, but she didn't seem to like the gesture. She opened the door and clawed the flowers out of the driver's seat. She got in, once there was room and drove off, running over the offending flowers in her escape.

Logan sighed. He needed to move on from flowers. He thought about what Veronica would want. Justice, revenge, equal rights, all good concepts, but not really something he could buy, not even with dear old Dad's millions. And, she wasn't one to be bought. He couldn't shower her with gifts. She would see right through that and never speak to him again.

The idea to let this go came to his mind. She wanted peace and to be left alone. But the last time they actually had a conversation was right after she accused him of murdering Lilly. He thought she had enough peace.

But there was a method to this game he was playing. He needed to let the line flow, let the fish, aka Veronica, think she was swimming away before he yanked her back. He needed to wait and see if she nibbled on the bait.

Two weeks passed. Logan was going insane. He hadn't talked to her once since that morning in the hall. He watched her, from afar. She didn't seem to notice him, which was extremely good acting on her part. Logan knew better. He knew she could feel eyes on her, his eyes. He growled and nodded. It was time to pull her in.

Newspaper work night was usually pretty empty. Logan hadn't bothered to work on the paper hard enough to be here on any of the nights, but he knew Veronica would be there. He also knew the school would be mostly deserted, except for a couple students, the adviser and Lucky, the janitor. He and Lucky had an awkward friendship that revolved around Logan paying him to pick up beer and keeping closets unlocked for his make out time. The latter hadn't happened in a while, not since Veronica kissed him at the Camelot. The beer happened last week. But tonight, He had paid Lucky to unlock the Chemistry lab. It was down the hall from the newspaper room with a pillar near the door. When Veronica walked down the hall, Logan slipped out from behind the pillar and grabbed her. An arm slipped around her waist, lifting her petite form up. The other hand went around her mouth. He leaned in and shushed her. “It's just me, Veronica.” He pulled her back into the Chem lab and set her down. He closed the door behind him and locked it.

“What the hell?” Veronica panted out, walking away from him to keep a lab table between them. She looked back at him, eyes wide. She was shaking.

“I just want to talk.” Logan held up his hands, showing her his palms. “I got tired of waiting for you to come to me.”

“Why would I come to you?” She was still looking at him like she was about to flee.

“To yell at me for giving a shit about you, maybe?” Logan sighed, leaning against the closed door. 

Veronica just looked at him. 

“I'm not going to hurt you.” Logan's voice softened. “You should know that.”

Veronica still didn't speak. She stared at him. No. She was looking through him.

“Ronica?” He asked softly, stepping away from the door towards her. He frowned when she didn't move. He watched her closer and noticed her eyes tearing up and her hands were clinching around the corner of the table. “Hey...” He reached out towards her. “What's going on?”

Her eyes darted to his hand and she backed up. She dropped her bag in the rush of movement. She looked down to it, then back up to Logan.

Logan stopped and watched her. He looked down to her bag and back up to her. “Roni, I'm not going to hurt you.” He bent down and picked up her bag and held it out to her.

Veronica gasped and raised a hand to her throat. She backed up, yelping softly as she hit the wall on the other side of the room.

Logan tilted his head. “Veronica, what is going on?”

“Stay... away.... from... me....” Her voice is struggling for strength, but she was trembling so hard. Her teeth were chattering. She couldn't look away from him. Logan wasn't sure if she had blinked since she saw it was him.

“Roni, I'm not going to come any closer.” He knelt down and tossed her bag on the floor. He was trying to get it close enough to her that she would feel comfortable. He knew it had her taser in it. He wasn't expecting to do anything worthy of getting tasered, but if it made her feel comfortable to have it, so be it. 

Veronica snatched her bag and put it over her shoulder, but didn't look away from him. She looked primal with her back arched over, causing her to slouch. 

“What happened? Why are you acting so scared?” Logan asked softly. He stepped back and stood at the end of the table, watching her.

Veronica shook her head. She closed her eyes tightly and when she opened them again, she was a bit calmer.

“Ronica, please. Something happened. I can tell.” Logan watched her trying to get a grip. It was terrifying him.

“Logan...” She paused and took a breath. It was shallow, but slow. She was attempting to calm herself. “I'm going to leave now.”

Logan shook his head. He had finally gotten a glimpse and he needed to know more.

“Please, just let me out of this room.” Veronica took a side step along the wall.

“Roni, please, just talk to me. I promise, I won't hurt you. I won't let anyone hurt you.” He gripped the table so he wouldn't run to her and hold her.

Her eyes lowered. She turned her head. 

Logan froze. “Someone already hurt you.” He said as he was just getting the memo. “When? Who? How?” With each question, his voice rose.

Veronica shook her head. She had stopped walking.

“Tell me who.” Logan felt his nails cracking as they dug into the top of the lab tables. 

“Your... father...” 

Logan blinked. “When he tried to kill you?” He asked softly. 

Veronica sighed and bit her lip. Her eyes were still cast down.

Logan had nightmares about his father hurting him from beyond the grave, but he woke feeling a sense of relief that it couldn't happen anymore. “Roni, he's dead. He can't hurt you anymore. He can't-”

“No, Logan.” She was fighting a lump in her throat. “He..”

Logan's heart stopped. He watched her and felt pieces of reality chip away around them. “No...” He whispered it.

“He raped me.” She said it, finally. She shivered and fell to her floor. She held her bag to her chest and stared at that same damn spot on the floor.

Logan panted and watched her slowly fall. He couldn't move. He couldn't think of anything but his father still managing to have the final word from the grave. He took everything Logan held dear and tarnished it. He looked down to Veronica, his sweet, innocent Veronica. 

“He beat me and strangled me, and rammed himself into me so hard he broke my hip.” She was talking with this vacancy in her voice. She wasn't here anymore. “He said no one would believe me and that whore. That without the tapes, I had nothing. That I didn't even have you.” 

Logan pushed off the table and leaned against the closest wall. 

“That he was going to make sure you rotted in prison for killing Lilly and destroying his image.” She blinked finally.

“Roni...” Logan's voice is tiny.

“That you wouldn't forgive me for letting him touch me. That since Lilly did it willingly, you wouldn't think twice about her shadow following her.” 

Logan heard his father's voice coming out of his ex girlfriend's mouth. He felt his body cowering and folding in the familiarity of it.

“But I didn't want to. I didn't want him.” Veronica choked on the words and memories. “I didn't mean to, but he was too strong. He didn't let me fight back.” Her eyes dart to her hands and she rubbed her knuckles softly.

“No...” Logan slid down the wall. He rubbed his hands up into his hair and pulled his head down. He held it there, tucked against his chest.

“He told me you would taunt me and mock me like you had before.” She shook her head. “I told him that you wouldn't, that you had changed. But he just laughed at me and told me that you two shared some big joke I was never let in on.”

Logan looked up, feeling the tears wet on his cheeks. “Roni, I wouldn't....”

“He left me there, in some old hut in the woods with only my crashed car to alert anyone where I was.” Veronica sighed and looked over at Logan. “My dad shot him as he walked out. He could see my broken body just inside the door and a smug look on Aaron's face and he shot him.”

Logan knew Keith had shot his dad. He knew of the tapes of his father and Lilly in the pool house. He knew his father had likely killed Lilly for stealing those tapes. 

“I can't be around you, Logan.” She took a calming breath. “I can't see you and hear his laughter at you mocking me.” She looked over at him across the room. “I can't have taunts of flowers and secret admirers.” She wiped at her cheek roughly with her sleeve. 

“Ronica, no...” Logan perked a bit. “I wasn't taunting you. I swear. I wouldn't. I love you. I am so sorry.”

Veronica climbed to her feet and hugged herself. “I need to leave this room.”

Logan sighed and stood quickly. “Veronica, please. I didn't hurt you. He did. And he's dead. He can't hurt you or me anymore.”

Veronica looked over at him. “Let me go.” 

Logan looked over at her and noticed the tear stains on her cheek. She hadn't wiped them all away. “Roni, let me help. Please.”

Veronica shook her head. “I can't. I don't-” She paused and tried to think of the right word. “I don't need you.”

“Roni.” Logan watched in horror as she regained her strength to leave him once again. “I know you have never needed me.” He took a step closer to her and then fell to his knees. He looked up at her. “I need you.”

Veronica jumped when he walked closer, but watched him drop before her. 

“I need you because I can't live without you.” He held his hands up. “I'm not saying I'm going to take a dive like my mom, but I won't be living. I'll be going through the motions, knowing one day, you might need or want me again and I couldn't stand to not be there for you when that time comes. I need you because you make everything better. You give me hope and you think I'm worthy of happiness, just like I try to do for you. I need you because I'm a zombie without you.” 

Veronica blinked down at him.

“I know you don't really believe what my father said. You have to know he was trying to get inside your head, like he did to me for all those years. He told me that no one would care that he beat me. My mother didn't care enough to stop it.” He smiled a bit. “But you cared. You gave me hope for my future away from him.”

Logan could see the inner turmoil in her head again. He pushed forward. 

“You helped me not turn into my mother. Sure, I like an occasional drink, but I know there's better ways to deal with disappointments or boredom. I know there's other options than suicide. I know because there's you. I need you like I need the sun to rise and dry the tears. I need you like I need the waves to ride. I so fucking need you.”

Veronica was panting as she watched him. She still hugged herself, but her shoulders dropped. She relaxed a bit.

“Please, Roni. I'm not asking you to marry me or even date me again. I'm just saying that I need you to be in my life.”

She sighed and shook her head. “Logan, I can't...”

Logan used his knees to walk a couple steps towards her. “We can start small. Greet each other with a smile. Maybe have lunch together with Wallace and Mac.” He tried a small grin. 

Veronica watched him scooting closer, but didn't seem too freaked out with it. “I...”

“I am forever in your orbit, Mars.” He smirked at his cheesiness. “You complete me.”

Veronica's lips rose just slightly in a corner.

Logan reached his hands out, palms up. “Please, Ronica.” 

Veronica looked down at him and exhaled slowly. “Greetings.” 

Logan grinned. “Salutations.” He wigged one hand's fingers at her. 

Veronica slowly reached a hand out and wrapped one finger around one of his fingers. “No more hallway grabs.”

Logan looked to their hands. He felt warmth and hope again. He looked up at her. “Never again. I will only greet you from the front or with verbal warning from any other direction.” 

“Your dad... he...” She started, trailing off.

Logan stood slowly. “Hey, you don't have to worry. You know I won't hurt you. I would never do that to you.” 

Veronica held onto his finger and nodded.

“And for the record, nothing he said was true, usually ever.” He bent and looked at her at eye level. “I won't taunt you or tease you or laugh at you or discard you for what that asshole did to you. I never wanted you to be part of this “Aaron's Abused” club, but I won't laugh at you for joining me. I am not on his side and never have been.” He swallowed hard. “I wish I could have pulled the trigger, but I am so glad it was your dad who took him out.”

“You paid my bills.” She looked up at him under wet lashes. 

“Best money ever spent. I had no idea what it was for exactly, but I knew it was to make you better. I needed you to get better.” He slipped his middle finger around her middle finger.

“I had to get a hip replacement.” She looked away from him.

Logan felt heat inside him. His father had hurt her so bad she needed artificial parts. He let out a calming breath. “Does it hurt?”

Veronica nodded a bit. “It's getting better. I have about 85% of my movement.” Her voice is soft.

“I'm so sorry, Ronica.” He captured another finger with his. 

“You didn't do it, Logan.” She still wasn't looking at him.

“I introduced you to him.” Logan tried to keep his anger at bay.

“When you were twelve.” She looked back and gave a tiny grin. “You didn't know better at twelve.”

“I did. I just didn't know he would hurt women.” Logan caught her eyes and couldn't look away like he wanted to. 

Veronica captured his last finger with her own. “I'm having trouble with this, Lo.” 

“Let me help. Please.” He offered his other hand when he really wanted to touch her hair or pull her into a hug or kiss her head.

“I'm really messed up.” She looked down to his hand and slid her fingers along his.

“Comes with the club membership, I fear. The fee is expensive.” He pouted and held her other hand.

She tilted her head and looked up at him. “I'm sorry.”

Logan felt his heart breaking. He let out a breath. “For what?” 

“Not trusting you.” Veronica sniffled.

“Easily forgiven.” He couldn't stand it anymore. “I'm going to hug you. I can't help myself. If you can't handle it, taser me.”

Veronica smirked a bit and Logan wrapped his arms around her. He leaned his head against hers and felt her arms wrap around his torso. She snuggled her head into his chest. He smelled her hair and felt a rush of calm come over him.

“I've missed you, Lo.”

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this idea of a AU where Aaron was the one who raped Veronica instead of Cassidy or Duncan (obviously not at Shelley's party). But it changed to this, which is darker in a way. I might still do that AU, but I needed to write this today. The muse demanded it be done. 
> 
> As always, feedback is my life. Please leave it in the form of comments and/or kudos. Thank you for reading.


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